So here we are almost at the end of January, and I’m only just getting back into my writing stride.
That’s the thing about getting older, time really does seem to go at a quicker pace, and things like my writing somehow don’t get the necessary time and attention.
So a week or two later than I hoped, I wanted to see how you’re feeling now that 2025 is fully underway. Does this new year fill you with excitement, trepidation or are you still hiding under the duvet waiting for the first signs of spring to emerge?
I’ve surprised myself with the energy and enthusiasm that I’ve been feeling in these first few weeks. Though, I have to admit, that’s been more than challenged this past week with gloomy, grey skies here in the UK, and equally depressing news on both sides of the pond.
Yet, why am l still feeling motivated despite all this? Well, maybe it has something to do with designating 2025 as my year to finally thrive. It is Twenty twenty thrive after all!
You see, the last couple of Januarys have been very different for me. Each December seemed to roll into January with very little fanfare as I was absorbed in a series of life challenges - the messy midlife that we’re all familiar with. Understandably then, I was only really able to survive by putting one foot in front of the other, with very little energy left to focus on my thrive.
This could be why my spirit this January feels lit up with potential and hope; I’m ready to prioritise my thriving, and to go all out for it. And as I delve a little deeper, I realise that this nervous, excitable energy is triggered by a sense that this is a now or never moment.
For those who know me, or who’ve been following my journey so far, you’ll be aware that while I’ve been talking a lot about thriving, I’ve not necessarily been ‘walking the walk.’
Thriving has been a long time coming, and oftentimes eluded me. In some ways it’s not surprising with the pile-on of loss, grief and upheaval I’ve experienced in the last few years, but I’ve also come to realise that my mindset needed to adjust as well.
The intention has been there for sure, but as we all know intention without action is worthless. Intent (intention and action) is what leads to transformation. And for action to happen I had to feel like I deserved to thrive, and that it was within my reach. I had to also be open to discovering what my own thriving looked and felt like.
I had to explore what my own unique version of thriving actually was - not necessarily what I thought, or was conditioned to believe it was - and then consciously choose to bring it into my life.
That’s the thing about thriving - it’s as unique as each one of us; our own personal blueprint for fulfilment and joy. It’s not what society, social media, adverts, family, friends, comparison or judgement tells us it ‘should’ be, it’s what deep down in our heart and soul, we know to be ours.
We just need to put in the time and effort to discover what it is, to nurture it, and believe in its magic, and our role as the magician!
My years in survival mode weren't wasted in this respect, and I’m grateful for that. They’ve taken me deeper into myself, led me into a journey of self-reflection and awareness, and ultimately to the acceptance of the whole of me (the good, the bad and the ugly).
And through this still evolving process, I’ve discovered that self-compassion is the superpower which has changed my mindset the most. It really has been a game-changer in helping me to realise that I don’t need to be perfect, good, unblemished, or subservient to deserve to thrive or to prioritise myself and my own wellbeing. It’s not a selfish act but one of self preservation, self worth, healthy boundaries, and in its most powerful sense an act of defiance against the unrealistic and unrelenting standards that women are always held up to.
Thriving on your terms is about getting to know yourself, not some previous version of you, but the woman you are right now, and want to be going forward - it’s about claiming and celebrating you!
And out of all of my own self-reflection has emerged a clarity and acknowledgement of what my personal foundations of thriving are. These are my own special ingredients that are wholly aligned to who I am right now as a midlife woman who finally realises what makes her tick and feel alive. So what are mine you may ask, well here goes:
One - Connection + Two - Curiosity + Three - Compassion + Four - Courage = Thrive
Yours might well be very different - and that’s totally cool. That’s the beauty of thriving in midlife; it is, and should only ever be, on your terms, aligned to your uniqueness, untarnished by anyone else’s opinions or diktats.
For in our midlife, we come to the realisation that a life of serving others has not been serving us. And while we might well have neglected our own right to thrive up to now, we instinctively know that it’s time to reclaim it for ourselves. And to do so, we have to go on our own magical, mystery tour to find out what it is.
It’s an adventure for sure, and despite the all effort, and the sometimes excruciating soul-searching into the deepest recesses of ourselves that’s required, it’s so worth it - after all don’t we deserve to thrive rather than merely survive, and it’s never too late to start!
And that’s what I intend to do this year - to share my own thrive journey with you here, as well as the stories of other inspiring midlife women, like you and me, who are on a mission to find and live in their thrive. And as I like to say, ‘there are fifty shades of thrive, what’s yours’?
So do you choose to thrive this year?
Are ready to discover and reveal your unique shades of thrive?
What does your one, two, three, four, thrive look like?
Is there a midlife woman you’d like to encourage to thrive if so please do share this with her
To follow my thrive journey then come and connect with me on:
instagram: fiftythrive_
TikTok: @fiftythrive4midlife
