Guess what?
Today I’m 54 years, 9 months and 20 days old.....
So what, you may ask?!
And fair enough, these random numbers don’t seem to add up to anything particularly significant.
Well, let me tell you, today is a big milestone in my midlife - one that’s worth celebrating and reflecting on, I believe. A day you may be heading towards yourself or it could have already passed you by without a fuss…
Any closer to guessing what it is yet?
No? Okay, well, let me spill the beans…
Today - 25th July 2023 - I’ve been alive for 20,000 days! Yep, I’m that old - or young depending on your viewpoint.
It feels both exciting and a little bit weird to have reached this milestone. It calls for a moment of introspection and humility as I come to terms with the realisation that I’ve now lived well over half my life. Let’s face it, it’s highly unlikely I’ll be around in another 20,000 days (I’d be 109 years, 7 months and 5 days old, and I can’t even begin to imagine what that would be like!)
So, today it’s time to start thinking about how I can make my next 10-15,000 days count - how I can be as healthy and happy as possible as the days tick over.
But first it’s important to acknowledge my immense gratitude for even getting this far. I must remind myself that many people aren’t lucky enough to live this long; their lives are cut short through tragedy, illness or other unforeseen circumstances. Reaching 20,000 is an achievement for sure, but it’s also a blessing none of us should ever take lightly!
Especially as I almost didn’t make it - at 45 years, 8 months and 28 days I underwent emergency life-saving surgery for a burst duodenal ulcer. If the wonderful NHS doctors and nurses at the Morriston Hospital in Swansea hadn’t whisked me into the operating theatre in time to nip peritonitis in the bud, I certainly wouldn’t be here today. I’m was, and am, so relieved it wasn’t my time then!
Despite the physical (and mental) scars of this stressful time, I was able, after a period of healing to pick up again on life. Though, I must admit a little regretfully, not in a life-changing, let’s-go-and-travel-around-the-world and find myself kind of way. Yep you guessed it, I went back to the 9-5, back to paying the bills, right back into my old way of life. That’s not supposed to happen when you come this close!
Things have changed a little since then and as I celebrate my 20,000th day, I find myself lucky enough to be on a sabbatical from work. Free to take stock of what nearly 30 years of work has done to me, to process grief of losing my Dad earlier this year (and Mum barely clinging onto life with advanced Alzheimer’s) and to imagine what the next 10-15,000 days might look like. It’s both a thrilling and daunting opportunity, I can tell you.
Many days of this new found freedom, I’ve felt a visceral pull to return to my ‘normal’ - to get back to what’s safe; what’s familiar. I’ve often found it hard to fully relax and surrender.
It’s been sobering to realise that the easiest thing to do in life is to just default; to continue blindly with daily life, with work that brings you little joy and demands your undivided attention at the expense of your health and mind. I speak from painful experience. I have a tendency to be a defaulter - desiring to wrap myself up in my ‘uncomfortable comfort blanket’ as I like to call it because it feels safe and known. I don’t trust myself enough to venture into the mystical place that is the unknown.
Sometimes I also find it difficult to be in this moment of possibility. I’ve realised my freedom, so long yearned for, is like a delicate and precious object in my hand, and I’m resisting going all in as my thoughts tell me that with one misstep it will suddenly dissolve and be lost forever.
Yet reaching this midlife milestone is like a jolt of reality - a now or never moment and as such calls for more radical thinking. For me and maybe for you too, this midlife calling often reaches such a noisy crescendo that you can no longer ignore by sticking your fingers in your ears and go la, la, la. It’s a time to challenge yourself and to get real about how you want to spend each and every precious day left.
And that’s what Fifty Thrive is about - a proverbial ‘kick-up-the-ass’ for me but also for other midlife women who also find themselves stuck in this no-go zone. It’s about finding your own unique thrive - that sweet spot where you start taking steps towards a place of living with purpose, joy, and contentment.
So wherever you are on your day-o-metre, I invite you to get curious about your life; feel into your intuition and see where it’s guiding you. Take time to listen - go inwards and face the ‘comfort-zone demons’ full on. And if you’re ever in doubt remember there’s always a community of wise women who’ve already taken those steps and are there to encourage and inspire you - I’ll be bringing their stories to you through Fifty Thrive. Together we can help each other find our own special life sauce.
So on my 20,000th day on this planet, while full of gratitude for the privilege of being alive, healthy and loved, I’m finally going to start taking my own leap into the unknown - I promise! I’ll keep you posted on how I begin to put into practice what I preach.
Until then, I’ll leave you with one of my favourite sayings which in sixteen words sums up perfectly what I’ve been trying to say in many more!
“We have two lives; and the second one begins when we realise we only have one…”
Fifty Thrive will launch soon, in the meantime I’ll share more of my midlife musings and inspirational stories and content from wise women here and on my IG/LI accounts……
I’d love to hear your feedback or thoughts on this post and whether any of it resonates with you. Let’s get talking about how we can help each other thrive more….
P.S - you may wonder how I stumbled on my 20,000 milestone - well, I have my Dad to thank for that. As an accountant he always liked to calculate days and milestones in his life, particularly as he struggled with his terminal illness. They kept him going. With that in mind, for my memorial address for him, I worked out how many days he’d been alive (31,746, if you’re interested). And that got me curious about how many I’d lived - still got a bit to catch up with you, Dad x
Hi Emma, to the contrary you are not a defaulter, you are an innovator. I remember when you had the difficult decision wether to continue working for somebody else or set up your own business, I remember when you moved to Bath knowing no one there. I remember when you decided to leave the only country you’d known and live in France for a new adventure. And look at you now… you my friend is someone who constantly takes risks, reinvents themselves, takes stock while being so humble and loving. I wish you all the luck on this journey and I have no doubt like everything else you will thrive, love Nana x