Focus on getting it done, not on getting it perfect

These are the words I wrote on a post-it note the other day - my so-called ‘Note to Self’ which I share on Instagram. A friendly but firm reminder to myself and other midlife women too!

Yet barely had the ink dried before my inner critic (let me introduce you to Maud) rudely butted in. ‘Easier said than done,’ she scoffed. ‘You’ve been a procrastinator all your life, why do you think you’re going to change now?!’  

And yes, I couldn’t deny it, she had a point.

I’ve suffered (I do believe it’s an affliction) from procrastination for as long as I can remember. It drives me mad (as I know it does my husband) and is something that I’ve been long been wanting to resolve. See procrastinating over that too - how ironic!

So while I still listen to Maud’s cautious tone, I’ve also become more adept these days at overriding her, instead tuning into my own instincts. 

And in that moment I intuitively chose those words which seemed to give extra meaning and urgency to them! Perhaps a deep-seated frustration within me about my endless delaying tactics had finally bubbled to the surface. Perhaps the prospect of a new year ahead made me realise that the multitude of ideas and wishes I have for Fifty Thrive (and my life) only currently exist as words in my notebook. It was surely time to finally confront this beast head-on. 

Yet I wondered how I was going to turn this Note to Self into meaningful action.

Let’s face it a life-time habit is a very tough to one to crack. Often they say baby steps are the best way forward to tackle the challenge, so with in mind I contemplated what my step would be. 

Then it dawned on me that firstly I need to stop using the word perfect - it had to be banished from my vocabulary! It was only when I started to do this I realised just how often I said it mindlessly - just like Maud predicted ‘Easier said than done!’

This may sound like a rather passive baby step to you but actually I think it’s a very powerful one, let me explain why….

While it’s a word that seems innocuous and aspirational, I believe it also has a much darker underbelly. It can become entwined into your habits and embedded into your perception of yourself - wielding it’s power over you in so many life-limiting ways. If you’re not careful it’ll stop you in your tracks and crush your dreams. It’s laden with hollow, unattainable promises that always seem just out of your reach.

I know full well its paralysing spell can grip you with fear and inertia, so you never quite do the things you dream of. You never discover how amazing your potential is.

And as I contemplated the potency of this word I began to get curious about its origins. Unsurprisingly I found out that it was derived from Latin. What was a little more surprising though was that in its original form it was Per-Facere. Per meaning through or completely and facere meaning to do. So in fact nothing to do with today’s meaning of being flawless and optimal in every way. Way back in Roman times it seemingly meant something that fitted in rather nicely with my Note to Self - just get it done!!

So if I ever needed permission to finally ditch perfection then that’s it! This realisation has propelled me to take another step forward - to start experimenting with imperfection. I want get more comfortable with the feeling of not always getting things right and not judging myself harshly for that (hear me Maud?) I want to have the courage to launch my ideas and dreams off the page and into reality and not to worry if some of them don’t land the way I expected.

Of course, it’s not going to be easy but I’m willing to give it a go; meeting my mission with plenty of self-compassion and a dose of realism.  

For there’s too much at stake to procrastinate any more, especially when we reach midlife. I, for sure, don’t want my ideas, dreams and talents to be a like flower bud that withers without ever blossoming. So it’s time to finally give procrastination and perfectionism the cold-shoulder they deserve and to give myself the opportunity to once and for all thrive (and in doing so help other midlife women achieve that goal too).

And if you need a little bit of encouragement and motivation like me to make that happen, then remember to you don’t have to do it perfectly but instead do it Per Facere(ly)…!

Thank you for reading - if this resonates with you then I’d love to hear your comments below.

Are you a procrastinator? Have you managed to beat your perfectionism? I’d love to hear how you overcame these limiting habits and if you have any top tips for me or others…