Five to Thrive - Edition 17
Chapters & Stories
Hey Thriveseekers
In this bi-monthly Five to Thrive compendium you’ll discover nuggets of inspiration, gather wisdom & resources, and read inspirational insights that’ll encourage and motivate you to prioritise your thrive in midlife.
While I’ll be curate and craft these editions for you, I’d love you to co-create with me, with suggestions on what to include, so feel free to leave comments and ideas at the end.
So, let’s start getting our thrive on!
1. Exploring the next chapter
Yesterday was my 21,050th day alive, and if I’m lucky I might have another 12,000 or more ahead of me - which would take me nicely up to my 91st birthday!
By which time I’ll be running Ninety Thrive and launching my Hire-a-Nonna business.
Yet, if I took on board what the advertisers, media or society wanted me to do with those 12,000 precious days then you might find me in my next chapter settling into a comfortable retirement home, planning a cruise for a dose of adventure, while retreating quietly in a haze of invisibility, no longer keeping up with anti-ageing appearances.
But sod that!
I’ve never been one to follow the script - as I once said to my Dad as he was pestering me about when I was going to finally settle down and get married - ‘I don’t live my life to a timetable that was set by you!’
And that’s as true now as it was back then - even more so I believe.
The more I tune inwards listening to what my gut is telling me, the more I realise that I’m in a significant transition phase right now - and that everything is pulling me in the direction of my next chapter - the one that’s more aligned to the woman I’m becoming (or maybe simply the woman I was born to be, who just got a little lost along the way).
This woman was once embodied in the five year old me - perfectly captured in a black and white photo that I now can’t find to share with you. So you’ll just have imagine little Emma in the garden with her hands jauntily on her hips looking straight into the camera with a sassy ‘I’ve got this’ attitude. That’s the woman I’m talking about. Before she was conditioned and moulded into a people-pleasing, emollient child and adult by her 1970/80s upbringing, gendered expectations, and the trauma of being sent to boarding school aged 10.
We all go through transitions throughout our life and I believe that redesigning new versions that embrace and compliment these different phases is crucial for our own wellbeing, and ultimately lifespan.
It’s less about reinvention, and more recalibration.
As I look back at myself in my early 50s when I first set up Fifty Thrive, I can see how different I was then to now. In just seven years I’ve been battered and weathered by perimenopause, I’ve cared for, and witnessed the passing of my parents, and gone through the unravelling of my identity as a result of this parental loss and grief.
And on top of that there’s been plenty of uncertainty and upheaval to contend whilst navigating a world that’s frequently as unhinged as my worst perimenopausal moments!
If I’m being totally honest with you, there’s been plenty of moments when I’ve felt less Fifty Thrive and more Fifty Survive.
That’s why I’m determined to make the next chapter - the one that sees me leaving my fifties and starting my sixties - into one that’s wholly and unconditionally aligned to who I am becoming, and how I want to spend my days thriving.
And if I’m lucky enough to experience another 12,000 then surely they must be unfiltered and unadulterated by any outside influences on how they ‘should’ look. I’ve come to realise that new chapters are an inside job!
I get a sense too that there will be others of you reading this who feel the same way - slightly bewildered about what’s ahead for you, while also enthralled about designing and recalibrating a life that finally lights your fire and makes you feel alive.
So if you are in for the ride, let’s encourage and inspire each other - I’ll be writing more about this as plans develop in my long-form writing, rather than here in Five to Thrive, so be sure to look out for those pieces.
I’d love to hear whether this resonates with you - and if you’d like to share your own next chapter story with me, however far along the journey you are. Maybe I could share your story here or interview in one of my Fifty Thrive Conversations - that would be awesome!?
2. A surreal moment
The other day I popped into the supermarket to check out the magazines - something I do now and then to see what they’re covering.
This time I picked up Women’s Weekly and as I flicked through the pages I had the surreal experience of spotting my own face in print!
The interview that I’d done back in February with a freelance journalist (having spotted the opportunity) was finally a story in the magazine - one of three about how I went on a menopause retreat (run by Laura Shuckburgh Marvellous Midlife back in 2023) to give my wellbeing a boost.
In the piece, I talked about how the retreat restored me at a very difficult time as it was only a few months since the passing of my Dad and when my Mum was in the midst of her final stage of Alzheimers (oh and we were also moving from France back to the UK - so a triple whammy!)
As you will know by now, I’m on my own Hiding to Thriving mission - looking for opportunities to share my own stories and lived experiences in the media and on podcasts.
I’m doing this to show that our stories and lived experiences matter. It’s what my Fifty Thrive mission is all about - supporting female founders and midlife women to share their stories in the media. From talking to many women, I know that we all want to read or hear more diverse stories that truly reflect our own lives rather than the filtered, out-of-reach celebrity versions that we’re often subjected to!
Each and every one of our stories has value to someone, and perhaps in sharing my story in Women’s Weekly, I’ll encouraged a woman going through a similarly hard time to do something for herself. Maybe she’ll book a retreat or a weekend away for herself that she didn’t feel she deserved or had talked herself out of. It’s a real life reminder that we midlife women must once in a while prioritise our thrive.
Interestingly I’ve just got my website figures for the week that I was featured in the magazine (where I got my url mentioned - note this is something I pushed for) and my number of visitors apparently went up by 23300% compared with the week before! So there’s at least nearly 400 additional women (I assume!) who have checked out my site and are now aware of what Fifty Thrive is!
Why from Hiding to Thriving is for all of us!
Aligned to my mission, I had a really interesting conversation this week with Edd Dracott, who used to work as the Real Life editor at the Press Association and now has set up a company Folc which calls itself ‘the human story experts’. They source and develop real life case studies that compliment brand and business stories to give them extra appeal to the media.
We had such an insightful chat about the importance of relatable and interesting human stories and how the media in particular often overlooks the power of midlife (and older) women’s stories, and what we can do about it. After all, the more we keep on telling and sharing our stories, the harder it is for the media to ignore us!
I do believe that things are getting better now - there’s more designated columns in newspapers, magazines and podcasts to share our lived experiences, expertise and wisdom. And that’s why I’m dedicated to helping my clients (and me) find these opportunities.
And of course, I couldn’t let Edd go without asking him about the impact of AI on stories and the media as it’s something I’m intrigued about, and he came back with some really juicy insights:
“I would argue human stories have never been more important to the media industry. In a landscape where AI overviews are rapidly absorbing audiences, every newsroom is thinking seriously about what they can offer that a Google or ChatGPT summary can’t replicate.
“For a news website looking to attract readers, you can’t do much better than a compelling, verified human story - complete with novel imagery AI can’t steal, and exclusive quotes, whilst I know from experience that nothing cuts through the swathe of AI-generated press releases and fake experts in an editor’s inbox quite like the offer of a great interview.”
So, if you have a story or lived experience you’d love to tell, then let’s talk - my PR Power Session helps you discover and package your stories so that you/I can find opportunities in the media for them.
3. Voices of Wisdom
Let me introduce you to Katie Fyfe who runs a really cool clothing brand Dad & Dolly with her 89 year old Dad who has Alzheimer’s, and who she cares for full time. Since it is Carers Week this week, it felt fitting to get Katie’s perspective on being a carer whilst also looking after her own wellbeing as a midlife woman. You really should check out Dad & Dolly, a limited edition British-made clothing range that’s inspired by her American Dad’s timeless style, the lessons of his generation and the wisdom that comes with it. I love that she’s doing something that brings her and her Dad together in such a positive way, despite the challenges they both face! Over to you Katie…
1. What do you do to help midlife women thrive?
I help shine a light on a chapter of midlife many women find themselves in but few feel prepared for - caring for ageing parents. While men care too, the responsibility often defaults to mid-life daughters, who become the ones coordinating care, managing crises, and having the difficult conversations, all while juggling work, family and their own futures.
Through caring for my own dad, building Eldering, and through Dad & Dolly, I’m exploring how we support our parents in later life, without losing ourselves, our relationships and our sanity in the process. My hope is to make this stage feel less lonely, more navigable, more valued and more seen. Caring for family members is often invisible work, but it impacts so many women’s lives in these middle years.
2. What’s one piece of advice you’d give to a midlife woman wanting to find her thrive?
Get curious about what makes your heart sing. Midlife gives us the gift of experience and is such a pivotal life stage. By this point, you should know what you’re good at, what matters to you, what drains you, and what kind of work feels meaningful. Take time to look back at the threads running through your life and ask yourself how you might use that knowledge to create a future that feels both fulfilling and sustainable, that can also be designed around the reality you are actually living. Then find the courage to take steps towards it.
3. How are you thriving right now?
I’m doing work I feel called to do despite the demands and uncertainty of caring for my dad. But if I’m honest, I feel like I’m still working towards my thrive rather than fully living it!
I’ve intentionally reshaped my life and work so it fits around care, rather than competing with it. The result is slower, more stop-start progress, but it’s progress nonetheless and, crucially, aligned with my values and interests. For me, thriving at the moment is less about charging ahead and more about continuing to move forward within the confines of my reality and staying true to myself. But to fully thrive, I know I need more support. Right now my focus is on improving that scaffolding around me so that caring for my dad and succeeding in my work can coexist sustainably as his needs evolve.
4. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learnt in midlife?
To recognise the signs of burnout and respond to them early. Burnout is a real risk if you are carrying too much for too long, and don’t have any time or space for yourself to reset your nervous system. But it can be hard to spot as it creeps in slowly. Many of us are holding so much together and worried about dropping balls that we ignore the warning signs until our reserves are empty. I’ve learned to take those signals seriously and see burnout is not as a personal failing but as useful information that something needs to change - whether that’s my workload, expectations, support system or pace. Stopping to readjust, pull back, build in support and re-route is the very thing that allows me to be resilient and continue building a life around care that allows me to thrive in the long term.
5. Who do you think is truly living in her thrive?
Celebrity-wise, Pamela Anderson comes to mind. I really admire how she is now living life on her own terms, and is so comfortable in her natural, authentic self rather than performing a role or seeking external validation.
More broadly, the mid-life women I see truly thriving alongside family responsibilities are the ones who aren’t carrying everything alone. They have strong relationships, practical help, and a network of reliable people they can lean on to share the load. That scaffolding helps absorb midlife’s inevitable shocks and creates enough space for them to invest in themselves as well as everyone else who depends on them.
To find out more: Dad & Dolly instragram Dad & Dolly project
4. Thrive nugget
Talking of new chapters, I wanted to let you know that I’ll soon be bringing you an recorded interview with a friend (who I met on the earlier mentioned retreat) who’s become an author recently! Her book ‘Retired and Inspired’ chronicles her and her husband’s (and dog Gus) adventures of van life and pet sitting around the UK and Europe. She’s proof that next chapters do require bravery and a step into the unknown but the rewards in doing so far outweigh the challenges. I can’t wait to interview Nicky and delve into how she made all of this happen in her late 50s. Watch this space!
5. And finally…
I wanted to share a new substack I’ve discovered as recommended called The Sunday Cervix by Salma El-Wardany. There was a particular post called The Economy of Sisterhood which is a thought provoking read about how financial systems are built to keep women trapped, and how we need to form a new economy of women buying from other women. Take a read and see what you think.
And on that note, if you’ve got value from, and enjoyed reading this substack and the others I regularly write for you then maybe you’ll buy me a coffee (and a cake if you’re feeling generous?!)
I’ve now set up an opportunity for you to make a one-off payment on my Fifty Thrive stripe account if you want to support me and what I do for you here.
And let’s all have a think about how we can better financially support one another as women operating in a world where finance and wealth is built by men and for men!!
If you ever needed proof of this, today I heard the news that Elon Musk has become the world’s first trillionaire (making him at least 10 times wealthier than the wealthiest woman in the world) - and a squillion more than just about every other woman! This wealth hoarding for nefarious means must stop!
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I’d love to hear your comments - I do reply to each one, and please feel free to share this with another midlife woman who’d benefit from reading it. Until next time, thriveseekers!
Thank you so much for your kind words. So glad to have you in the congregation uplifting other women. 🥹