Five to Thrive - Edition 11
Let's show some love for this latest edition!
Welcome to the eleventh edition of Five to Thrive!
Here you’ll discover nuggets of inspiration, gather wisdom & resources, and read inspirational stories that’ll encourage and motivate you to prioritise your thriving in 2026.
I want this to be a place for us all; where diverse, relatable stories of thriving from around the world sit alongside advice, ideas and expertise shared by me and other midlife women.
If you want to be one of my Voices of Wisdom in future editions then drop me a message and tell me a bit more about yourself.
So, let’s start getting our thrive on!
1. Let there be light
It’s usually around this midpoint in February that I start yearning for spring. It happens every year, but right now it feels even more urgent and needed!
I’m done with the cocooning darkness and slower pace of winter, and am ready for the revitalising energy and potential that spring brings.
As I look out of the window while writing this, all I can see is a blanket of grey. It’s as if everything is shrouded in it, caught in an eternal stillness - frozen in time in a black and white photo.
And right now I’m craving colour and light! The monochrome is weighing on my soul. More than anything, I want and need to be uplifted by the spring sunshine.
I know it’s coming soon. As I go for my walks around the local park, I see the shoots and the first flourishes of bloom from the hardier plants. The signs are peeking through the soil, and this gives me hope. But if I’m being honest, I’m also getting very impatient. I don’t want to wait much longer!
I wonder if it is just me who feels this way, or whether you do too?
Perhaps the winter seems longer and more relentless this year as its gloom mirrors what is happening in the world.
We’ve experienced such a brutal onslaught of one shocking headline after another, it’s no wonder that we all feel angry and weary. It seems that those in power revel in the darkness they bring, and have not a care in the world about how their actions impact others.
I have felt this heaviness too, and am finding it hard to process it, and truly express how I feel about all that’s happening. Maybe someday soon I will find those words and share them with you.
So for now I’m getting through these grey days of winter by focusing on my own thrive, as at least that’s something I can control!
And it’s in moments like this that I’m so glad I’ve figured out my own thrive foundations - the things that give succour and nourish me - especially when things feel dark.
For me, this means bringing connection, compassion, curiosity and courage into my life one way or another. And when I’m doing one or any combination of these things, I know that I’m living in my thrive.
As I look back over the last month here’s a few things I’ve done aligned to my thrive foundations, nothing flashy or expensive, just simple and effective!
Connection: having coffee and chats with friends and new contacts, going to networking events, and writing and sharing my ideas and thoughts with you here.
Compassion: nurturing my own mental wellbeing with a daily meditation, talking kindly to myself when the inner critic pipes up, and walking in the park to ground myself in nature.
Curiosity: being captivated watching YouTube videos about travelling (my wanderlust dial is on max right now!) enviously watching as a couple travel through South America in a van. The big vistas, the awesome mountains and the unexpected moments pique my curiosity like nothing else!
Courage: putting myself forward for opportunities to share my own midlife journey in the media, dipping my toe a little outside of my comfort zone!
So how about you? How are you getting through - what’s bringing you your thrive at the moment?
If you want to discover more about how to find your own thrive foundations or need some inspiration then you can download my free e-book below.
2. Valentine’s Day
It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, don’t you know!
I’ve been thinking about how much of a marmite kind of day it is - one that you either love or hate. Maybe I’m being too harsh, but you see I have quite a lot of emotions wrapped up in this day.
Yesterday I was at the supermarket and could barely get in the door thanks to the buckets overflowing with bouquets of red roses, the aisles of laden with chocolates, and the multitude of cards emblazoned with love hearts. It seemed like the commercial juggernaut of Valentine’s Day is in full swing!
It’s not that I’m unromantic, but I just don’t really buy into this hallmark day of love as it feels contrived and competitive, and in my mind at odds with what I believe love is all about.
In fact Valentine’s Day has always given me these vibes. I remember as a teenager the impending angst as the day approached wondering if this would finally be the year I received a card from a secret admirer.
The stress was palpable, especially as I was at boarding school where Valentine’s cards equated to popularity and social cache - they were, in essence part of your self-worth currency. And so when nothing arrived for me year after year, it viscerally cemented my own feelings of unworthiness.
Thankfully today things are very different; I feel loved every day, not only by those I love - my husband and family - but also by myself, and that means so much more to me than the one-in-365 Valentine’s Day version of love.
My own journey to loving and accepting myself was, I admit, arduous and long, yet it was in the darkest depths of my perimenopause that I finally had my breakthrough. I discovered self-compassion. Exploring and embracing this really helped me to finally untangle myself from those feelings of unworthiness (and shame) that I’d held onto for far too long!
Self-compassion is the art of being kind and compassionate to yourself, rather than listening to the berating and judgemental voice of your inner critic. It’s not driven by external validation or perceived success, but acceptance of who you are at your best, your worst and everything in between. It’s the acknowledgement of suffering; your own and others, and meeting this with a compassionate, kind heart. And never, I believe, have we needed to feel and show compassion (to others and ourselves) more than right now!!
Self-compassion is at the core of my own thriving in midlife, and might possibly be for you too
If you’re interested in finding out more about self-compassion then take a read of these posts I’ve written The Second Half and Coming of Middle Age. Or you can go and explore the teachings and meditations of self-compassion experts Tara Brach or Dr Kristin Neff - surely there’s no better Valentine’s gift than being compassionate to yourself!
Valentine’s Day is also a deeply poignant one for me as it was on this day three years ago that I lost my Dad.
Dad was a romantic. He and Mum celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary only a few days before he passed. It was a day that meant so much to them, it was their day of love. And having found letters and cards they wrote to each other when I cleared out their flat, I have no doubt that their love ran deep.
So it was really no surprise to any of us that Dad chose Valentine’s Day to leave this earth.
Not only will I be lighting a candle on this day in his memory, and allowing grief to flow through me, I will also be remembering how he embodied and showed his love. And this will give me the hope and strength I need to carry on.
3. Voices of Wisdom
Meet Maddy Biddulph, a personal trainer who helps women in perimenopause feel strong, capable and confident again. We’ve never actually met IRL (yet!) but I was introduced to her through my sister who did some PT sessions with her. After a chat on the phone we realised that we were very much on the same wavelength - focused on helping midlife women to thrive in different ways. And as a freelance wellness and fitness journalist she’s also a great contact for me and my clients in this space! So take it away Maddy, let’s hear from you…..
1. What do you do to help midlife women thrive?
Midlife can make exercise feel a bit confusing, because what used to work suddenly doesn’t. As a personal trainer I help women in perimenopause feel strong, capable and confident again through safe, hormone-aware strength training that supports their changing bodies. Regular exercise is just one of many tools that can ease menopause symptoms, and can help women feel like themselves again.
2. What’s one piece of advice you’d give a midlife woman wanting to find her thrive?
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Take a step back and have a long hard think about what and who you really want in your life, and how you want it to look. You have everything inside you already to achieve your wildest dreams. You just need to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. And if things don’t work out, you will learn from it.
3. How are you thriving right now?
By designing a life that works for me and my family. I’m a single mum with two young daughters, and as well as a personal trainer I work as a freelance journalist. I choose to work for myself because I want to be around for my kids, I want to do the school runs and be at their events, and spend time with them in the evenings. I know not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to do that so I’m grateful I can make it work. I lost my dad when I was 26 so for me time is always more important than any kind of financial gain.
4. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learnt in midlife?
That being positive is a choice. Yes, life can be stressful and I’m not always going to feel OK about what happens or the way people treat me, but I can control how I react and also how quickly I let things go. I tell myself ‘everything always works out for me’ when I’m feeling overwhelmed and this helps me to stay in a positive mindset.
5. Who do you think is truly living in their thrive?
Anyone who is taking charge of their health, fitness and wellbeing on their terms. There’s so much noise about what women should be doing to take care of themselves, what we should eat or not eat, how we should behave and move our bodies. I think if you are managing to do some regular exercise that you enjoy that helps keep you physically and mentally strong then you are really thriving.
To find out more about Maddy’s PT services visit her website - she’s currently running MenoFitness classes for perimenopausal women (see classes section on the website). You can also find her on Instagram: @maddybiddulphpt
4. Thrive nugget
It’s official reading my Five to Thrive is good for your health….!
I read some interesting news this week about dementia prevention:
Reading, writing and learning a language or two can lower your risk of dementia by almost 40%, according to a study that suggests millions of people could prevent or delay the condition.
It seems that writing Five to Thrive regularly for you is also good for my health - a that’s a win-win for you and me then!
It’s nice to read something positive, so if you want to find out more the full article is here.
5. Something to read
I’m on a mission to showcase other substack writers I enjoy, and this post drew me in as it focused on how to protect your mental wellbeing in light of all the traumatising news and headlines we’re seeing.
That’s it folks….hope you enjoyed this one - I’d love to hear your comments and please share with anyone you think would be interested.
To find out more about Fifty Thrive or buy my Fifty Thrive merch (t-shirts, tote bags or mugs): www.fiftythrive.life
I also want to help more midlife female founders get going on PR and have some availability for my PR power hours in February and March. Visit my instagram or drop me a message for more info.
Emma xx
